錫安與我 / Zion and Me

活在世上，每個人都會被其他人歸類，而通常這些歸類都不怎麼正面。之於我，其中一項叫做“想太多”。

我覺得你說話可以再經過大腦一點，顧慮一下他人感受，他們回我“你想太多”。

我覺得你表情可以再有修飾，免得看起來一張馬臉，他們回我“你想太多”。

他們覺得自己生來就是這樣，不需要改變不需要你的建議，因為也有人可以接受啊！所以如果你有其他感覺，那是你想太多。

好吧！或許是我想太多，take it or leave it，我們不適合當朋友。

xxxxx

他們說我兇巴巴，據理力爭，個性急反應太快，對人總是不必要的真心，有恩必報卻翻臉無情，還有，敏感。

有很長一段時間，我很不喜歡別人說我敏感。天曉得，比我敏感的人大有人在。

但我的好妹妹有感而發給了一個智慧的註解，你就是生來敏感，才能夠寫文章啊！

我想起張曼娟在一次訪談曾說，早期她的作品被文學界嗤之以鼻，張曼娟？唉她就只會寫些鴛鴦蝴蝶的。

衝著這句話，張曼娟寫下了“鴛鴦紋身”這本書。從來沒有人能把古典文學寫得那麼纏綿細膩，她之後也沒有人再這麼做了。

我不是張曼娟的粉絲，可是我喜歡這種精神。

是啊，我就是敏感，敏感到可以寫出一本書了，而且還在繼續寫下一本。怎樣？

p.s. Dear Lioness, this is also for you. There are so many people loving your words. Shit happens, just keep writing. Love, kisses and hugs from Zion and me.

xxxxx

至於兇巴巴，我要說這真的不是故意。

捍衛自己與錫安，是一種母性，更是不得不。

一個女人帶著特別鍛鍊她心智的小孩，你們希望她多溫柔？

而且，拜託，我只是講話大聲了點，算不上兇好不好？（怎麼有種越寫火氣越大的感覺，哈哈）

xxxxx

帶錫安一起去逛超級市場。

其實也沒打算買什麼，只是為了讓他有出門購物，舉止合宜的經驗，因為最近班上在教的是社會適應課程。

他很想要亂亂跑，可是他一爆衝我就拉住他站在一邊，要求他一定要幫我推車，才可以往前走。

他聽話了，只是推的太用力，差點把飲料都撞下來。我說，頭頭你乖乖走，媽媽等一下買飲料給你喝。





他好像聽懂了，比較有耐心。結帳以後，我買了一杯果汁給他，兩個人一起坐在長椅上分享。

看他安安靜靜喝果汁的樣子，我好愛他，給我一個將來會上哈佛的小孩，我也不會拿錫安來交換。

不過兒子，如果你可以上哈佛，媽媽賣血也會籌錢給你去讀書。拜託你加加油，好嗎？




xxxxx

我一直很難過Amy Winehouse走了，但幸好Adele還在，and thank God she is not wasted at all。



Didn't I give it all?
Tried my best
Gave you everything I had
Everything and no less

Didn't I do it right?
Did I let you down?
Maybe you got too used to
Having me around

Still how can you walk away
From all my tears?
It's gonna be an empty road
Without me right here

But go on and take it
Take it all with you
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool

Just take it all
With my love
Take it all
With my love

Maybe I should leave
To help you see
Nothing is better than this
And this is everything we need

So is it over?
Is this really it?
You're giving up so easily
I thought you loved me more than this

But go on, go on and take it
Take it all with you
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool

Just take it all
With my love
Take it all
With my love

I will change if I must
Slow it down and bring it home, I will adjust
Oh, if only, if only you knew
Everything I do is for you

But go on, go on and take it
Take it all with you
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool

Just take it
Take it all with you
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool

Just take it all
With my love
Take it all
With my love